A satirical look at some of the serious issues surrounding the Dalai Lama.
Though many of these issues are serious, this approach is meant to be light hearted. The reason for this blog is because the Dalai Lama's reputation, many people just ignore the facts concerning the human rights abuses committed by the Dalai Lama.
Please enjoy and inform yourself!
Recent birthday celebration news from the Dalai Lama.
Dalai Lama ecstatically states that
Tibet will once again be his and celebrates with the buying of surfs!
The Dalai who is quickly
approaching his eightieth birthday has said recently “This will be the year!”
referring the end of Tibetan struggle with China being aligned with his
eightieth birthday. A well-established fact amongst most of the Dalai Lama’s
inner circle is the Tibetan freedom movement is “intrinsically entwined with
the Dalai Lama’s birthdays”.
Sources from his inner circle have confirmed that most
of his decisions and those of the Central Tibetan administration (CTA) are
based around the Dalai Lama’s birthdays. “It’s not just Tibetan independence!
What type of books are going to be written with the Dalai Lama’s name on them,
should we build a new school or medical clinic, what are we naming the cat?”
The current Mechanical Bull from the Dalai lama's residence
Though some within the CTA have
voiced concerns about this absolute policy. “For example if we are approaching
a DL birthday, then it is called a flourishing time…sigh…then we will probably
organise some celebrity concerts to make money for a water irrigation project
or the buying of a new Mechanical Bull. However after the birthday it is called
a decreasing time, where most of the leftover money is spent on Cure albums and
watching black and white French movies.”
However this year is set to be totally different as
the Dalai Lama has said “all will change with my eightieth birthday”. Samdhong
Rinpoche, the Dalai Lama’s previous Prime minister and Master of Bunting in a
recent interview said “it has been proven in my own and many others’ dreams
that what the DL is saying is completely true”.
Dalai Lama and his main bro Samdhong Rinpoche
So what has the Dalai Lama been
Basically, this year on the 6th of July his eightieth
birthday the Chinese government will completely move out of Tibet and hand
Tibet back over to the Dalai Lama. “I can’t wait, I have me plans to pimp up
the Potala” referring to the Dalai Lama’s traditional place of residence - the
Potala palace. “Those Chinese are going to be completely gone, it’s my birthday
and it’s a big one. Nuff said!”
Plans of celebration and the logistics of moving the
130,000 Tibetans in exile back to Tibet are already underway at the CTA. A
source from within the CTA confirmed “This is not going to be easy - for all
the millions of Tibetans living in Tibet and for all the people returning, they
are going to find it a bit of a shock”.
Asked to what he meant by shock, in a hushed voice he
answered “The DL is a little bit out of touch, times have changed, for one
thing most of these people can now read. The DL wants pimp up the dungeon under
the Potala as this was where he would go and play when he was a kid. The
official CTA policy from 1975 is democracy but the DL doesn’t realize that this
means you can’t own people anymore”.
Slaves from a bygone era. Maybe even lucky enough to have been one of the Dalai Lama's
The Dalai Lama is probably the
most popular living ex-slave owning celebrity. Before leaving Tibet he owned
more the 6,700 people. When asked about this he said “I have already picked a
few out when driving with me crew, mostly young ones as the old ones are
toast!” “Me has them in me garden back at me crib”. Also when talking to
Samdhong Rinpoche at a recent celebrity event in Washington the Dalai was
overheard saying “Me has already got some strong backs for you Samy”. When
asked about this Samdhong Rinpoche said “You have got to understand Me and DL
are bros, he’s got my back and I got his”.
Well the whole world is now waiting in anticipation.
Is the Dalai Lama going to get his special birthday wish? Will he get his Tibet
back? Just how will he return 95% of Tibetans back to being land tied surfs? As
the Dalai Lama said “It’s my birthday, so you know that is how it is.”
Some of the information above is not true